After I had completed my postgraduate studies in Philosophy and Religion I went through a period of intense theological reflection. Writing helped me to articulate and process everything that was on my mind and I self-published a series of books related to those areas of philosophical theology that had become pressing for me.
My biggest theological struggle was trying to understand biblical theology in light of a firm conviction I had arrived at that we don’t have free will. I wondered how it could be possible that our lives were preparing us for the resurrection of the dead and the day of judgment when in reality we don’t have free will.
One of the books I wrote was titled The Only Question You Ever Need Ask. The question at the heart of the book was this:
Does the doctrine of double predestination represent God’s true and only plan for humankind?
Double predestination is the doctrine that says every human being is predestined to either paradise or hell. What I was trying to establish in my book was how to marry this doctrine, which seems to be an important element of biblical theology, with the idea of a good and loving God who creates creatures who have no real freedom.
I thought about the absolute sovereignty of God and the freedom He has to do whatever He pleases and I realised that biblical theology and the doctrine of double predestination could be accepted on this basis. Even though we don’t have free will, God can unfold our lives and reward and punish us based on the way that He has orchestrated that we act. After all, isn’t the entirety of creation for the glory of God?
While this understanding meant that I could embrace the Bible in light of our lack of free will, it left me feeling deeply uncomfortable about the doctrine of hell and the idea of eternal conscious torment. It seemed somehow cruel and unfair that God would choose to damn people even before they are born! The lives of those who were predestined to damnation would be utterly tragic.
I think sometimes people have an understanding of hell that can be superficial. They may feel, in a dismissive way, that if people have done evil they deserve to be damned. Yet anyone who has experienced an episode of suffering is likely to be deeply troubled by the idea that any sentient being would be made to suffer forever and ever, whatever the reason why.
I remember reading the Qur’an and being in floods of tears as I considered the stark warnings in the Scripture that appeared to portray God as intensely angry over immoral behaviour and verses that stated the torments of hell would be terrible for the lost. I know I’m not the first person to have wondered how the idea of the inflicting of agonising suffering can be reconciled with the idea of a loving and merciful God.
Does God truly feel angry over sin? And if so, why does He simply not cause people to sin? I know that some people would say it is the devil who is the architect of sin and not God, but I am convinced that the devil, if He exists, must be under the sovereign control of God and acting in accordance with His will, as every creature is.
I find it hard to believe that God doesn’t truly appreciate what suffering is like. It may well be that God causes suffering in order to demonstrate His power. As the Bible says, His strength is made perfect in our weakness. Who can argue with that? Yet how about everlasting torment? Doesn’t that cross the line from God demonstrating His strength to cruelty?
I realise there are different views of hell held among Christians and not everyone advocates that eternal conscious torment is taught in Scripture. Yet there are phrases recorded as being spoken by Jesus, and phrases in the book of Revelation, that do seem to indicate that this is part of the biblical story (I have written a more thorough exposition with Scripture citations in the book I mentioned above).
I have wondered about Christian love and how it seems somehow diminished by the doctrine of hell. How can we preach a God who is good, loving, and merciful with the idea of hell hanging over everything we do? Sometimes I feel this predicament is enough to drive people insane, and I for one have almost gone insane agonising over it.
When I feel anguished over the doctrine of hell, I cling on to the knowledge that God has always brought me through and out of episodes of suffering to a place of peace and happiness. My sincere hope is that He is not doing this in a kind of false way, where even though He blesses me He is secretly storing up anger. Instead, I cling to the hope that as the Bible says, God is love, and that this reality means He will work everything out in a loving way for all sentient beings.