The Mercy of God

He is with you in your hour of need

Sometimes the experiences God leads us through can feel overwhelming. It can seem like we are surrounded by circumstances that are leading to our destruction. We can lose sight of joy and peace of mind and feel utterly consumed by the trials of life.

But God is in control, even when we cannot feel the peace that can come only from Him. He is ever-merciful and the Master of turnarounds.

Yesterday, I experienced one of the hardest days I’ve lived through. I was in a local hospital and felt the intensity of the brokenness and suffering of my surroundings in an acute way. I longed for a loving conversation or just something that would calm my mind and bring peace.

But as the day went on, my anguish grew worse. I felt hated by everyone and mocked by passers by and there was seemingly no help to be found. The stress of my situation caused my mind to experience a kind of fog and I became deeply concerned that my mind was broken beyond repair.

Slowly, as the evening drew near and I left the hospital, my mood started to pick up. The Lord led me into some open spaces which provided blessed relief from the intensity of A&E and I eventually made my way home to the relative peace of my flat.

My mood revived; blessed mercy! I slept well.

When I awoke this morning, I continued to experience a great fear of the hospitals in my area to which I have been admitted on various occasions and have been to frequently in recent months. I felt utterly dismayed at the state of the health system, and this dismay caused me to writhe around in a state of turmoil. I wondered whether it was mental illness causing me to feel this way, and my thoughts turned to taking medication to ease what seemed to be symptoms of a deteriorating mental health condition.

But then I fell to the floor and cried out to God. I begged Him for mercy and asked that in His grace and goodness He would free me from this state of acute stress and bless me with peace. The Lord responded with tremendous kindness, reassuring me that I will not need to go to hospital again and bringing my being into a great and deep peace. He took away the stress and turmoil and restored my mind to a place of health and wellness in a moment. Glory be to Him!

I am feeling so much better today than I did yesterday, though still troubled by certain thoughts and worried about the toll stress is taking on my brain and mind. But as I wrote these words, and expressed these thoughts, the anxiety lifted and I felt more grounded, praise God!

My life has been a muddle for some weeks but I hang onto hope in the goodness of God and His precious mercy. Better times are coming, He assures me. I will continue to trust in His goodness. Surely, love will always win out.