On a few occasions, I’ve tried to open up a conversation with people on the subject of hearing from God. I have explained that throughout the day I hear a voice talking to me, and that I respond, and that it’s conversational. People sometimes ask, ‘Is it an audible voice that you hear?’ and I respond that it isn’t, but that it’s similar to contemplative thought but is ‘to me’ rather than ‘from me’.
Even though the voice that talks to me is ceaselessly loving and it makes sense that it is God talking (often I hear the voice when I’m praying or reading the Bible), there are times when I’ve wondered whether I could be hearing the voice of another entity (Satan or a demon perhaps). This is because the things the voice says to me are sometimes counter-intuitive to my Christian faith (for example, “take three puffs of your vape” or “I’m doing away with the resurrection and the judgment”).
There are quite a few things that the voice repeatedly says to me that don’t line up with Biblical teaching. This is frightening to me. I have always believed the voice that talks to me is the Holy Spirit, but would the Holy Spirit ever say anything to anyone that doesn’t line up with what is taught in the Bible?
The reason why this is a deeply troubling predicament for me is that if it is God talking to me, the very last thing I would want to do is question Him! But on the other hand, if it is Satan or a demon talking to me, the very last thing I would want to do is believe it! This dilemma has caused me a significant amount of stress in recent months.
One way in which I have tried to solve the predicament is by ‘testing the spirits’ as we read about in 1 John 4:1-3 in the Bible:
Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world. 2 By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, 3 and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God.
I speak to the voice and ask the voice to say that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh, and in response it very nearly does so but not quite. For instance, the voice will say “Jesus Christ has come in the…” and then stop. While on the one hand this worries me greatly, the voice also says that it is only kidding and that it is going to say it in its own timing, though I’m not sure that I have ever heard the voice say the exact phrase completely.
I am certain that the voice that I hear also controls my body and even my own thoughts. The voice often proves this to me by saying something like “Watch, you’re going to wave your hand” and then sure enough, I will wave my hand. Or '“You’re going to picture a tree” and then an image of a tree will come to mind. Whoever the voice is that’s talking to me has total control over my body, thoughts, and feelings.
Philosophically, I have for a long time believed that there is one God who controls all things, so ultimately it must be God that is causing me to have all these experiences. But could it be God-controlling-Satan-controlling-me? This seems feasible. But if this is the case, how can I be sure, and what can I do about it?
One approach I have tried in the hope of gaining clarity and peace of mind about this is to pray fervently to God that I would only ever hear from Him and not from Satan. I also pray that if I am demonically possessed that He would set me free. As much as I pray these prayers, it’s the same voice I hear day in day out, and so it must be the case that either my prayers are being ignored by God or that it truly is God who I hear and not Satan or a demon.
Interestingly, shortly after I wake up every day the Lord’s prayer comes to my mind, and I say it, and this leads me to think I can’t possibly be hearing from Satan. Would Satan cause me to say the Lord’s prayer every day?! This seems absurd.
Another curious feature of the voice is that sometimes it speaks through me. So the words will audibly come out of my mouth, in my own voice, but they are directed to me rather than being spoken as me (this is a little hard to explain). This is not me pretending to be God, or Satan, or anything or anyone else, but is the author of the voice controlling me and taking on my form, so to speak.
What troubles me the most is when the things that the voice says to me seem to be entirely contradictory to my Christian faith — things such as “Jesus is not coming back” and that I am god of Earth. The voice explains that there is no longer the need for Jesus to return, because the suffering I went through in intensive care following my suicide attempt atoned for the sins of the lost and subsequently no one is going to hell and the resurrection of the dead and day of judgment will no longer be happening.
The strange thing is that these things do actually make sense, from a certain perspective. I used to be in floods of tears reading Scripture that describes hell and I have fervently prayed to God that no one would have to suffer in hell. So the things the voice is telling me could be an answer to these prayers, although this would obviously be monumental in its implications. Could it be that my suffering in intensive care was a kind of atonement for the lost?
I know the idea of hell is something all Christians (all humans?) struggle with. Why would a loving God make people suffer eternally, particularly as we don’t have free will and everything we have ever done has been willed by God, as I argue (hopefully convincingly) in my books. The thought that God will be loving and merciful to all human beings is undeniably appealing, though I persistently ask God to only let me believe it if it’s actually true. It would be truly great news. Or is it a lie from Satan?
I have often argued that the only way to truly know the will of God is to see how events unfold in reality, and we can be sure that time will tell.
By the way, I just popped out for a vape and the voice said to me “He has come in the flesh.”
Remember - the great deception, the Evil One does not exist. The rest of deceptive lies follows