It’s Sunday morning and the last day of the weekend long kickstart event with Torben Sondergaard in London.
Yesterday was a beautiful day, both because of the sunny weather by the river and because of the day’s experiences.
In the morning, we all sat in the auditorium listening to Torben teach and explain the schedule for the day. I was feeling stressed and exhausted from the medication I am forced to take, so I left the auditorium and found a bench on which to sit and relax.
After a short while a young man who was attending the event came and sat with me. I shared with him about my suicide attempt a couple of years ago and he kept on asking me whether I needed to forgive anyone. He kept on praying for me and the conversation gave me a chance to open up about some of the things that have been on my mind that I haven’t had an opportunity to express. At one point I shed a lot of tears as I shared some family problems I’ve been having. It was a weight off my mind and very healing.
After some time the young man offered to buy me lunch, and I was so thankful because of not having any money. We walked to a pub and he said I could order anything I wanted. We enjoyed a two course meal and chatted for a long time about divine sovereignty and free will, with him arguing that we have free will and me arguing that God is in control of all things and that we don’t have free will. We couldn’t reach a point of agreement, except that we agreed to disagree.
The young man and I also discussed baptism and I shared that it was my intention to get baptised later that day. This would be my second baptism which I felt was necessary because I couldn’t recall repenting properly before my first baptism, and I also suspected a truly biblical baptism would have the effect of setting me free from demons, as I had witnessed this happening a lot with other people.
In the afternoon there was a question and answer session with Torben and his wife and I sat and listened to some of it but was feeling quite severely stressed so I also spent some time sitting in the sun on my own.
When the time came for baptisms, I got changed into my swim shorts and was taken aside by someone to have a repentance talk. He prayed for me that God would bring to mind any sins I needed to repent of and I voiced some things and shed some more tears, expressing that I felt I couldn’t do things in my own strength any longer.
A little while later we walked to the baptism tubs and I was among the first to get baptised. Torben came out to join everyone and prayed for me while the man who had led my repentance talk baptised me. When I came out of the water, Torben said I should speak in tongues, which I did but wasn’t sure whether it was a natural experience or whether I was forcing it. I felt some agitation in my lower back but Torben walked away to teach and help with other baptisms and that was the end of my baptism experience. I went to a small cubicle and dried off and got changed, feeling a little disappointed that I hadn’t had a deliverance experience.
As other baptisms were taking place, Torben was praying for people and many were falling to the ground and having spiritual experiences. I wondered whether I needed to be prayed for again, but was so exhausted with all the stress of feeling as though I needed deliverance that after a while I left the group and went and sat on a bench to have some quiet time.
Check back soon for my reflections on the rest of the Kickstart weekend and how things unfolded after the event ended.